As I have been discussing effective ways for you and your partner to improve your communication, I would like to switch gears a bit. I am going to start to discuss how to become a more positive and happy person (this will help your relationship as well). After all, the more positive we are, the happier we are, and the happier we are... the easier it is to deal with life's up and downs. Besides being able to cope better, there are other benefits I will describe later on.
Part of having healthy relationships also depends on the work you do as an individual. I feel that it is very important for us to be aware of our own "stuff". The things that may bring us down, upset us and cause us pain, anger, and hurt.
I incorporate some concepts of Positive Psychology into my practice with the belief that it will help improve our lives and our relationships.
What is Positive Psychology you may ask??
"Researchers in this rapidly growing field investigate what makes human beings happy and how an individual can lead a fulfilling and satisfying life. As a field of inquiry, its purpose is to understand and foster the factors that allow individuals, communities, and societies to flourish (Seligman & Csikszentmihalyi, 2000)."
Therefore, focusing on ways to improve the quality of life, studying ways to increase our happiness, which again, leads to a healthier life, as the many studies have shown.
Try asking yourself these questions and be honest about your answers.
* Do you think you are more of a positive or negative person?
* Can you find the good in the bad?
* How easy is it for you to let some things go?
* Are you quick to judge?
* Do you smile often?
* How often do you perform selfless acts?
* Are you happy when good things happen to others?
* Do you complain often?
So..... what do you think? Try asking yourself the first question again, after going through the rest. Do you still have the same answer? Do you feel like you can work on becoming a more positive person? I say YES, there is always room for change, growth and improvement in our lives. Becoming more positive is not easy, but it is NOT impossible, and it can be learned.
Think about the above questions throughout the week and take notice of how you are. See what you come up with, it may be interesting.
Over the next few weeks I will be discussing techniques to help you become a more positive person.
In the meantime.....keep smiling and remember; if you only look at the negative that is all you are ever going to get, if you seek out the good and the positive, that is what will surround you!!
