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I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and have been practicing for over 16 years. I am specialized in couples therapy and work with individuals as well. When I work with clients I teach them necessary skills to improve not only their relationships but themselves as well. My hope is for my clients to make changes that will make them healthier individuals which will then make their relationships healthier and happier. If you're interested in obtaining information, setting up an appointment, or learning more about my practice please visit my website at www.therapywithanita.com you can also go to my page on psychology today at http://Therapists.PsychologyToday.com/rms/79368

Wednesday, November 11, 2020

Importance of Finding Your Place of Peace

It's been a minute since I have posted 😏 sorry about that.  Since this has been a difficult year for so many I want to take some time to focus on just that.  Who would have ever thought we would experience a global pandemic? When this happened, it created much fear, stress, and anxiety for so many.  People were not working, their daily routine was out of whack....no longer existent.  With loss of routine, panic ensued into many, they felt not only scared but lost, feeling like they are not going to be able to create a new way, as they were yearning for things to go back to "normal."  A combination of loss of structure and feeling of panic and just wanting things to go back to how there were, seemed to be very hindering for people to move forward.  They needed to shift their thinking, stop focusing on what was and instead focus on what needed to be done. Therefore, I spent a lot of time working with clients to create a new daily structure for themselves.  That seemed to alleviate a lot stress and dissipated the panic for so many.  We seem to forget that we are much more resilient then we give ourselves credit for. We are able to adjust and adapt to things.  I think what happens is sometimes people have a difficult time accepting things in their lives and instead try to fight it.  When we fight versus accept, that brings on stress and anxiety amongst other negative thoughts and feelings.  The fight and the lack of acceptance is not going to bring back what was, it will not change things, the only thing it will do is make it more difficult for you.  When we come to a place of acceptance, especially for the things that are out of our control, we can come to a place of peace.  "Place of peace" is a phrase I have made up and use quite often in my own life and when working with clients.  

Place of peace, for my explanation of it, is a place you feel peaceful, turned off, and within your place of peace is when you give to yourself  (another phrase I have made up through my many years of practicing therapy) meaning, take a mental break, turn off from everything, a time to feel clam, positive, to recharge your battery.  We are in charge of creating our place of peace.    

Do you have a place of peace?  I have a few places of peace.  My main place of peace is nature, when I go for a hike, I connect with nature, it makes me feel at peace within myself and my life.  And, get this......there is actually something called Attention Restoration Theory (ART).  What is that you may be thinking.  Attention Restoration Theory is "spending time in nature, by watching a sunset, gazing at the ocean or mountains, sitting in a park, escaping to the countryside, or a nature retreat, or even just spending a few minutes to stare out the window, provides us with the opportunity to rest, reflect, and restore our very selves." Exposure to nature is said to also restore our concentration, reduce stress, bring on a sense of calm, and decrease anxiety.  You should consider bringing nature into your personal space(s) as well, such as, have plants in your office or in your house, maybe a little waterfall, or even an oil defuser where you can defuse oils such as pine.

Meditation is another place of peace for me, a way of giving to myself.  I like the app Calm.  I like a guided meditation or what I like to call an informal way of meditating.  An informal meditation is not a guided meditation but instead, you're just focusing on your surroundings.  For example, when I hike I turn off the rest of my life (you learn how to do this through meditation) and I just focus on the sounds of the birds, the squirrel jumping from tree to tree, a deer eating off a tree branch, the gravel under my feet.  It soothes me, it recharges me and it allows me to give to myself.  I am now to a place in my life where I WANT to take those hikes because I find how healthy they are for me mentally and physically.  It makes me a better person, more patient and less stressed.  

With that said, this is part of what I call, "Giving to Yourself."  When we give to ourselves we are healthier beings.  We feel better, function better, act better.  This is so important in relation to relationships.  When you give to yourself and find your place(s) of peace, you become different....calm, more positive, happier, more in control of yourself, rational.  

MY THOUGHT:

If you don't have a place of peace, it means you are likely NOT giving to yourself.  When you give to yourself, you become a healthier and happier individual and that creates healthier and happier relationships.