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I am a Licensed Marriage and Family Therapist and have been practicing for over 16 years. I am specialized in couples therapy and work with individuals as well. When I work with clients I teach them necessary skills to improve not only their relationships but themselves as well. My hope is for my clients to make changes that will make them healthier individuals which will then make their relationships healthier and happier. If you're interested in obtaining information, setting up an appointment, or learning more about my practice please visit my website at www.therapywithanita.com you can also go to my page on psychology today at http://Therapists.PsychologyToday.com/rms/79368

Thursday, April 19, 2012

Part 2A: Drifting Apart……Importance of open communication

Communication is an extremely important part of your relationship for many reasons, one main reason is to keep you connected.  Let’s look at the domino effect of NOT communicating.  If there is no communication then you are not sharing your thoughts or feelings with one another.  If this is the case, you are probably not on the same page, do not have a good understanding of one another and are not up to date with each other.  In turn, it makes it difficult to meet each other’s needs and wants, to be supportive and solve issues.  At this point you’re probably not spending much time together because of feelings of bitterness and/or resentfulness……..Ultimately the connection is lost.   

Why It’s Important to Communicate and Keep Communication Open
Some people tend to make assumptions about what the other person is thinking or how they are feeling.  This tends to make the situation worse because not only may you be wrong in your assumption, but you are probably stirring up emotions in yourself, making yourself feel anxious or stressed out over an assumption you are making.  If this is happening to you, then you are probably giving off a certain attitude to your partner based on your assumption.  This is one reason it is important to communicate with one another, it lays things out on the table so there are no assumptions.

Now think about this; if you are upset with your partner about something, but you are not communicating it to them, how will they know?  You cannot expect your partner to be a mind reader, nor can you blame your partner for something you are unhappy with if you have not communicated it to them.  If you are doing this, you will leave yourself feeling resentful towards your partner.  Therefore, by communicating with your partner you can avoid feelings of anger and resentment.

Sometimes couples are not communicating because they are afraid to cause a conflict.  Next week in part 2B, I will give you some helpful hints on how to get your message across to your partner without causing a conflict. 

My Thought:
Get to know each other again.  Try making it a point to spend at least 20 minutes a day to talk about what’s been going on in your life and find out what’s been going on in your partners life.  
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